When The Soul Decides It’s Time To Go Home

Most of us know of someone who seemed to foresee their own death. Are these genuine premonitions, or mere coincidences? Do we somehow know when we are going to depart this life? At the soul level, we all do. More than two decades of mediumship have taught me that.

For most of our lives, this knowledge remains unconscious, but sooner or later, we all “remember,” even if only at the very last moment.

Our higher self knows the details of our departure because we planned our life journey and soul mission long before we arrived. What many people do not realize is that this life plan is flexible and that our soul can revise it at any point along the way.

Every family and circle of friends knew at least one person who they claim knew in advance that they were going to die.

The person had an unmistakable inner awareness that their time in this world was drawing to a close. Or they inexplicably started putting their affairs in order, or said goodbye in a manner that only made sense to their loved ones after their passing.

Did they foresee their own death? Were they just imagining things? Did they manifest it, because they chose to believe it? Or could there be something much more profound going on, something that makes perfect spiritual sense…even when it defies our limited human understanding?

In my experience, we all know at some level when our time to leave this world is approaching. Some people become consciously aware of their impending departure, while others only recognize it in their final hours. Eventually, we all “remember,” even if it is at the very last minute.

Premonitions of our own death make even more sense when you consider them alongside related phenomena, such as deathbed visions. Hospice workers and relatives often report dying patients pointing out deceased loved ones who have come to accompany them home, or angels waiting in the room to take them away, or having dreams about "packing their belongings" for an upcoming journey.

There is also the remarkable deathbed phenomenon of terminal lucidity, when people with advanced dementia or Alzheimer's disease experience incredible final moments of perfect mental clarity, complete memory, and coherent communication with the people around them shortly before their passing.

But on a soul level, the knowledge of our time and the circumstances of our departure is always present. Deep down, we know. Our higher self, soul or spirit knows, because we participated in planning our own life journey long before we arrived in this world.

I did not come to this understanding by accident. It is the result of thousands of mediumship readings over more than 22 years. I also do not claim to know the answer to every mystery of the universe, but I do know what I have consistently encountered in my work.

And what spirit has communicated to me and my clients over the years has very little to do with the fatalistic idea that we are helpless passengers being driven by providence, or some authoritarian higher power, toward a predetermined exit ramp…destined to randomly appear without warning somewhere along the highway of life.

It has even less to do with the idea that we have several potential “exit points” or “off-ramps” to leave this life, which has become very popular in recent years in spiritual circles.

The Curious Concept Of Soul 'Exit Points'

The idea that we have “exit ramps” along our life journey is basically that before birth our soul selects certain prescheduled opportunities for us to leave the physical world, should we need it while we are here. It's kind of like a series of “emergency exits” that we set up beforehand: a terminal illness or two, a random infection, an accident, and maybe even a near miss with murder or suicide, all representing different prescheduled departure points we can potentially opt into.

To my knowledge, this idea is not based on a universal teaching of any of the world's major spiritual belief systems, or wisdom traditions. In fact, it is a relatively new idea, and its proponents cana also not agree on how many “exits” we supposedly get to choose per lifetime.

My suspicion is that the concept may have been inspired by the highway imagery used by Robert Monroe, founder of The Monroe Institute, in his 1994 book Ultimate Journey, in which he describes a map of the route we travel when we leave our physical lives, which he calls the “interstate, with its entry and exit ramps, signposts, and hazards.”

In 2008, psychic author Sylvia Browne popularized a different notion of “exit points” in her book End of Days, in which she describes five opportunities that souls write into their pre-birth life plan. In 2009, Khorshed Bhavnagri described a similar idea in The Laws of the Spirit World, but with only three possible death dates instead of Browne’s five.

Around the same time, consciousness researcher David Wilcock used the term “exit ramps” that he described as opportunities to leave a life that had diverged from its original purpose. In a November 2009 blog post, he said each person chooses before birth how and when they are most likely to die, and builds in exit ramps at certain points. These let them leave early if they stray too far from their original goals, before accruing further karma.

In an April 2010 radio interview, Wilcock expanded on this, crediting Michael Newton’s life-between-lives books. He believed that before birth each person picks a series of events, scheduled to occur in their life, that serve as potential exits. If the person has not progressed spiritually as hoped, they can die and reincarnate to try again, aiming to get closer to their higher self and life purpose.

He believed these pre-designated exits often involve injury, assault, car crashes, or conflict with very negative people. He added that someone who survives such an event and responds with forgiveness has what he called a “shamanic wounding,” an initiation that can bring more synchronicity and a stronger connection to the higher self.

Channeler Lee Harris revisited the concept recently in his 2023 book Awaken Your Multidimensional Soul, in which he describes multiple "exit points” in a conversation about grief. In a podcast interview, he defined these exit points in a similar way as moments in time where a person’s soul could have left their physical body, adding that awareness of them would make people more grateful for and appreciative of life.

Why Designated 'Exit Points' Make No Sense

Here’s the problem: in the thousands of mediumship readings I have done over the past two decades, I have not once come across someone’s loved one referring in a reading to a series of "pre-scheduled checkout options" along their life journey, much less why they might have choses their particular exit date above the others they had available to them.

The truth of the matter comes down to a very fundamental choice each of us must make about our own spiritual beliefs and outlook on life: Are we sovereign spiritual beings with personal agency, manifesting our own reality experience and setting our own path in this lifetime? Or are we merely puppets acting out a predetermined script for our life?

In other words, it comes down to “free will” versus “fate.”

And, unfortunately, at some point we have to pick a side. You either believe you have a say in how your soul journey turns out, or you don’t. In terms of our true destiny, it is my understanding there is no walking and chewing gum at the same time. There is no both-sidesing. Nor is there sitting on the fence. Not if you hope to make the most of your divine journey in this lifetime.

We are not puppets of fate, or robots acting out a rigid life script that some higher spiritual authority or divine dictator has chosen for us, or is imposing upon us.

If our souls are free to choose, why must we pre-select a range of specific expiry dates and scenarios? Why must there be a non-negotiable menu we have to select from every few years?vWho decides how many of these exit points we may have in one lifetime? Some celestial administrator with a clipboard and a very strict booking policy? And why would our eternally sovereign soul suddenly become incapable of changing its mind after arriving in a physical body?

I have never subscribed to a spirit realm resembling any form of human bureaucracy, status levels or hierarchy, with higher-ranking beings, entities or forces issuing instructions, limitations and permits to subordinate souls and mere mortals.

What would be the point of our existence as conscious beings if we were merely to behave like robots or passengers in our own lives?

Through my mediumship work, I have come to understand that the timing and circumstances of our departure are integral to our soul's chosen purpose and life experience. What appears to us as the premature, accidental or tragic passing of someone always has a higher spiritual significance that we for the most part can never fully understand from our currently very limited human perspective.

Pre-Planning The Ultimate Life Adventure

Imagine planning an overseas trip. Perhaps you want to explore Japan, the Greek islands or the villages of southern France. You choose your destination, departure date, travelling companions, length of stay and desired experiences.

Your budget, available time and travelling companions may influence the arrangements. You might consult a travel agent or join an organized tour. But you still remain the traveller who gets to plan your own itinerary.

That is how I have come to understand the soul plan.

Before we are born, we design the overall itinerary of our physical life adventure: the mission and purpose, the challenges, obstacles and setbacks, the relationships, discoveries, contrast, drama, joy and fulfilment, and the sheer physical thrill of it all!

We are not being forced onto a bus, handed somebody else's travel brochure and ordered to enjoy the scenery while we can. Nor are we here to suffer through a compulsory series of gruesome spiritual “lessons.” Earth is not a remedial classroom for defective souls, and suffering is not a cruel test we must pass to earn a gold star from God.

The suffering we see in the world is not of God. It is entirely man-made.

Depending on your beliefs, you may understand the soul plan process as the work of your higher self, supported by your soul family, spirit guides, angels, higher powers, deities, or the divine.

Whatever your beliefs may be, you choose for yourself to come for the experience of being in physical form. Your discoveries while you are here contribute to your soul expansion, and through your own evolution you also contribute to the ongoing evolution of the universal consciousness and expansion of the universe.

And, like any sensible traveller, we also plan to eventually return home.

Our Confirmed Return Flight Is A Flexible Booking

When you book your trip to planet Earth, you do not only pick the start date, but you also reserve your return flight. You have an approximate date in mind for returning home, based on your estimate of how long it will take you to get everything done.

But, all soul plans also come with a flexible, free will rescheduling option.We are not prohibited from changing our original reservation.

Therefore, who needs several return ticket vouchers, if all you need is one that is flexible and that you can use as and when you see fit? We do not need a list of locked-in exit ramps in order to complete our life journey successfully.

You might return earlier because circumstances changed, or you accomplished your goals or purpose earlier, or you simply feel ready to go home.

It is your ticket, and your journey.

In my experience working with spirit, we retain sovereignty as spiritual beings before, throughout and after our life journey. We do not need to wait around for a specific set of pre-approved opportunities to show up before we are “allowed to leave.”

And while our human minds may not consciously remember the date of our preliminary return flight, our higher self, our soul, our spirit is well aware of the original arrangements. Our higher consciousness is not restricted to the same limited information available to a human sitting at a kitchen table. Why should infinite spiritual intelligence be constrained by our limited human perspective that causes us to forget our anniversaries or lose our passports?

We are not meant to fully remember or fully comprehend everything while we are here. Otherwise, what would be the point of taking this weird and wonderful physical trip?

What Really Happens When The Itinerary Changes

Every experienced traveller knows even the best constructed itinerary never turns out precisely as planned.

Maybe you planned to visit that museum or park, but discover a charming village or winery instead. Or you run out of time or money, or find something better to do.

Our soul itinerary is a framework, not a minute-by-minute screenplay with every line of dialogue and camera angle permanently fixed. No matter what, you are still directing your journey.

Furthermore, you are also not the only traveller with an itinerary. While we are free to design our individual soul plan, we must ultimately pursue it within a co-created reality that is jointly manifested by us along with billions of other souls also exercising their free will, which means you do not get to control absolutely everything that happens along the way.

Yes, it’s pretty much like human politics. You can vote in every election without your preferred candidate ever winning. Your vote matters, but it does not cancel everybody else's. Similarly, when you are traveling abroad, there will be moments when your travel companions will want to go somewhere other than where you had originally planned. Or more people may show up before you at the gallery, causing you to wait hours in line (like I did at the palace of Versailles in France one day in the summer heat before I became a smarter traveller).

Finally, there are also things like the weather not playing along while you are in the Costa del Sol in Spain, or worse, a hurricane or tsunami coming along to destroy the beautiful resort that was meant to be a highlight of your trip.

In spiritual terms, these unexpected events and circumstances are known as providence or divine interventions, and I have witnessed it in my own life and many of my clients' lives. These are those moments when our higher self, the spirit realm, or the divine firmly steps in to help us get unstuck, or opens up a new doorway to help us get back on track, or stops us in our tracks to protect us from our own stupidity, or prevent us from heading disastrously off course with our original plan.

These divine interventions are not always pleasant, but they are never just “bad luck” or karmic punishments. There is a profound difference between divine guidance serving a higher purpose and some petty higher spiritual authority stripping a soul of its freedom to choose.

What Mediumship Has Taught Me About Death & Dying

For over two decades, I have worked with many people all over the world seeking to understand the passing of a loved one that seemed cruel, premature, senseless, or even preventable. Some have lost young children. Others mourn loved ones killed by seemingly senseless accidents, murder or violence, or even suicide.

Not once has a soul communicated during any one of those readings that they were snatched from physical life against their spiritual will, or that an unforeseen event ruined their perfectly planned life journey.

Not once.

Of course, the details and circumstances vary enormously. But the consistent message conveyed every time in those communications has always been: it was their time to go.

I have been repeatedly shown that every soul ultimately chooses the timing and circumstances of their own departure. Sometimes they follow the original itinerary, and sometimes the plan is revised. From a soul perspective, there are no random illnesses, accidental departures, or tragically premature endings. The soul is not an unwilling passenger at the mercy of a fickle cosmic tour operator or wishy-washy travel agenda.

This does not deny responsibility of those who inflict violence. It does not mean we should stop preventing accidents, treating disease or helping people in despair. True spiritual sovereignty is not about cruelty or neglect. Nor should we tell a grieving family that their loved one chose a terrible death, as though that observation could remove their anguish.

The Five-Year-Old Who Came To Make A Difference

Years ago, I worked with a family whose daughter died at tge age of five from a rare childhood illness. She was one of only a handful of children globally affected by this condition and for this reason she was invited to participate in a medical research trial to find a cure.

She was an extraordinary “old soul.” Even strangers were drawn to visit her. Her wisdom and remarkable presence affected everyone around her in an uplifting way.

Of course, the family's grief was indescribable. Nothing about the spiritual significance of her short life will ever make their loss less painful.

The reading for her family after her passing revealed she was an exceptionally wise, mature soul whose brief journey had been very intentional and highly purposeful. Through her brief, voluntary presence among us, she touched many lives and contributed to scientific progress that now benefits children she would never meet.

Moral of the story? Some travellers spend weeks abroad and never leave their hotel room. Others spend one afternoon somewhere, have the time of their life, make a huge impact, and return home with everyone, including themselves, forever transformed.

It is not for us to decide or judge what another soul should have done with their life plan or their return ticket.

Honoring Their Journey Means Respecting Their Ending

We all sometimes contemplate other people's soul journeys. Why did a child live only a few years? Why did this person die so strangely? Why would someone choose to leave so soon, when they had so much to live for?

It is understandable that grief, shock and trauma cause us to search for explanations and understanding, and some losses are so devastating that no answer will ever feel sufficient.

But seeking comfort and closure is different from passing judgment on a life journey that was not ours to choose or design. it is not for us to understand the choices of other souls. Instead, we should respect the spiritual sovereignty of their divine self.

Instead of obsessing over somebody else's itinerary, perhaps we should pay more attention to our own. Are we creating, loving, uplifting, healing, contributing? Or are we sitting at the back of an imagined cosmic tour bus, believing somebody else gets to decide what happens next?

Ultimately, I believe we would do well to stop trying to understand everybody else's life journey or soul choices. It is not for us to judge another person's free will choices, soul circumstances, or the timing and manner of their departure. Their journey belongs to them.

Instead, our spiritual responsibility is to make the most of our own life journey, fulfil our chosen path and true destiny, and contribute something worthwhile while we are here, and somehow help make this world and the next a better place.

We all have a time to come, and we all have a time to go. And we make these choices for ourselves on a soul level… every step of the way.