There is the fashionable notion these days for individuals to be branded as 'psychics' or 'empaths' if they are emotionally sensitive, or display a high level of compassion towards others. It is automatically assumed that people who are emotionally highly intelligent must also have an exceptional capacity for extra-sensory perception (ESP). Nothing could be further from the truth.
Please know that natural human empathy has not become such a scarce commodity that it now needs to be classified as a paranormal phenomenon. It is also not a psychic ability that must be developed or applied at all cost. If empathy really has become such a rare trait, then our society is in much greater jeopardy than we may suspect (see below).
People who do not display empathy are considered by the medical profession to be abnormal, or disordered. A lack of empathy is a common characteristic found in the Cluster B Personality Disorders in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), especially in those diagnosed with Antisocial and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
There is already so much confusion and skepticism about psychic abilities that professional psychics and spiritual workers can hardly afford more myth and mockery to be added to the mix. The use of the term 'empathy' to describe an extra-sensory ability is inaccurate and misleading. To unravel the truth behind all this ‘emotional mayhem’, one needs to understand the difference between the following terms and concepts:
Empathy Versus Sympathy
Both empathy and sympathy are natural ways to express compassion and caring for others, and both are a normal trait found in most well-adjusted human beings. In fact, both empathy and sympathy are an important aspect of Emotional Intelligence (EI), and both are basic social skills taught to us at a young age by our parents and caregivers. Experts also believe that there is a genetic or biological basis to empathy and sympathy.
But there is also a distinct difference between empathy and sympathy, which is important to understand, especially for people who work in the helping and service professions.
Sympathy is an expression of concern, regret or sadness about unfortunate events in someone else’s life. In other words, you worry about that person’s distress, or you feel sorry for what has happened to them.
I am so sorry for your loss. I feel for you. It must be awful for a parent to lose a child. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through.
Empathy on the other hand, is our ability to grasp the feelings of another person on a much deeper level, as well as the ability to convey this understanding to that person, which shows that you really do comprehend how they feel. Empathy is therefore the ability to relate. It is having the capacity to ‘place yourself in another person’s shoes’ and the knack to truly understand where they are coming from; to see things from their perspective and relate to how it is making them feel. Empathy and sympathy can be expressed at the same time in certain situations, but they can also be expressed separately.
I understand exactly what you are going through. I feel your pain. I lost my own son a few years ago. It is an agony that you cannot even begin to describe to someone else.
Empathy is therefore appropriate or useful when we need to express our sincere understanding of another person’s feelings and circumstances, whereas the focus of sympathy is more our concern for that person’s well-being in difficult or challenging circumstances, even if we cannot necessarily relate to their circumstances.
Empathy is a normal psychological trait, and it is something all people express to some extent. For example, a study done at Yale University in 2007 found that babies demonstrate a natural tendency towards empathy, while the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology has shown that despite being given no incentive, even toddlers share with others and act in a helpful manner. Empathetic behavior has also been demonstrated in certain animal species, including mice.
Some people may have a greater aptitude for empathy than others, because they are emotionally more intelligent or have more life experience, but that does not make them psychic. You are not a psychic or an ‘empath’ because you were properly socialized by your parents; or because you are a caring and considerate member of society; or because you are a highly sensitive person; or because you are able to instinctively notice someone else’s feelings through cues you get from their body language, their facial expressions, their tone of voice, or behaviors like crying, or sighing. The more empathetic you are, the more you are able to comprehend and express how others must be feeling. But this is not an extra-sensory ability, or a clair sense.
Empathetic Versus Empathic
Most language experts will most likely disagree with me, but I feel a distinction should be made between the terms empathetic and empathic. Such a distinction is useful in my field of endeavor, especially due to the popular usage of the term 'empath' by psychics and the modern spiritual community. Language belongs to the people who speak and write it, after all.
The word empathetic describes the normal empathy a person would express towards others, while empathic is useful to describe the extra-sensory or energetic perceptions experienced by an empath. This form of extra-sensory perception is I some refer to as clairempathy, to distinguish it from normal empathy. In other words, when you are being empathetic you are showing empathy, but when you are being empathic you are experiencing clairempathy.
Empathetic: expression of natural, ordinary empathy
Empathic: expression of ‘supernatural’ clairempathy
You will not find this distinction in dictionaries, as the words empathic and empathetic are generally considered to have the same meaning, i.e. the ‘ability to express empathy’. But to me this distinction makes sense, since we do not use the term ‘sympathic’ to describe someone who is being sympathetic; therefore it makes sense to only use the term empathetic to describe the expression of empathy. That leaves the term 'empathic' free to be made very useful as a practical communication term for the metaphysical community.
Therefore, if you are someone that shows a healthy empathy for others, then you are empathetic, and you would then be very aware of emotional signs and moods in someone else. But that does not make you an empath. It just means you are very well-adjusted, kind and considerate person, or possibly even genetically a one-in-every-five Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
I am an HSP., but I am also an empath, and they are not the same thing. In my experience an empath is a person who has vivid clairempathic experiences of a psychic or paranormal nature. This means that I have direct, extra-sensory experiences of other people’s emotions, moods and motivations on a daily basis.
I can feel what others feel, without knowing anything about them, or having any direct contact or interaction with them. I can experience these feelings and sensations from strangers on the other side of the world. And they are not only limited to emotions, because I also experience physical symptoms. Touching them, or being in close proximity to their energy field usually yields the most powerful results, but it is not necessary. All I need to pick up someone's feelings is to have access to their 'spiritual coordinates' in some form, for example their name, photo or a personal item belonging to them.
For example, I might be in line at the supermarket and suddenly begin to feel pain and discomfort in my right arm, and when I turn around there would be someone in line behind me with their right arm in a sling. Not only would I briefly feel their physical pain, but I may also get a clairvoyant flash of what happened to them to injure their arm, or I will feel how frustrated they are to have the use of only one arm.
In the past, before I understood my empathic nature, I often did not know where some of these feelings and sensations were coming from, or what they meant? Unconscious empaths often walk around like unsuspecting energy sponges, and can obviously suffer much discomfort and distress as a result. Empaths who are unaware of their clairempathic ability typically absorb all kinds of unwanted emotional and somatic energy wherever they go, without understanding, for example, why they suddenly feel nausea or vertigo; or why they are suddenly overwhelmed with extreme sadness and anxiety, when there is nothing in their environment to be sad or anxious about; or why their positive state of mind has suddenly changed to a really foul mood the moment they walked past someone in the street.
To me this is the most evident difference between empathy and clairempathy. Empathy involves an affective (emotional) and cognitive (thought) process based on observation, logical thinking, perspective-taking, reasoning and an appropriate emotional response. Clairempathy, on the other hand, is an energy perception or clairsentient response that has no rational, logical or emotional origin. When someone is limping down the street, it is not something I will only consider or think about once I actually see them walk by. In fact, I do not even have to see them, or know them personally. I might feel that person limping long before they even come around the corner! Whether I can, or wish to relate to what is wrong with them, is of no consequence.
This is another clear distinction between the empath and the sensitive person. Unlike highly sensitive people, empowered empaths can experience and relay all manner of very upsetting feelings or disturbing symptoms without bursting into tears... or even batting an eyelid. It is a myth that empaths are sitting around feeling sad or depressed all day because we struggle to deal with all the suffering in the world. Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors!
With that said, I do have to confess that I am known by many of my clients and colleagues to sometimes break down in 'snot and tears' when a psychic reading reveals some information that tugs at my heartstrings. That is indeed true, but that is not because I am an empath! I perceive the sorrowful information because I am an empath, but I only cry with my client because I am a highly sensitive person. Not all empaths are cry babies like me, okay? And I typically only cry when I personally relate, based on my own life experiences or simply because I really have a personal affinity for that particular client. So, basically I am being empathic and empathetic at the same time. See what I mean?
Reputable psychics and mediums will actually tell you that they usually do their best readings and predictions when the energy information they translate for their clients make absolutely no sense to them at the time. The less the psychic's ego and personal opinions interfere with the reading process, the better. In fact, a reader who constantly expresses too much sympathy and empathy during a reading is probably not doing a very good job, since both sympathy and empathy are both a highly personal perspective. If I always share my client's feelings, or feel sorry for them, I am not using my clairempathic ability to the best of my ability, because I am obscuring the energetic information or spiritual message with my personal feelings of empathy and sympathy, probably based on my personal values and life experiences. Feeling constantly upset, drained or depressed, or sorry for yourself and the whole world, does not an empath make!
Clairsentience Versus Clairempathy
Empathic ability (or clairempathy) is actually not a distinct psychic ability in its own right. It is just one expression of the more generally familiar psychic ability known as clairsentience. The term ‘sentience’ refers to awareness, or consciousness of a sensation or a feeling. Sentience does not involve thought, or logic, or reason, as one would often find in normal empathy, where you would use reason, logic and your personal memories to consider how the other person must be feeling. The emphasis in clairsentience is on feeling or sensing, instead of rational thinking.
Clairsentience therefore means ‘clear sensing or feeling’. It is the ability to perceive extra-sensory information about people, places or objects, by sensing it energetically. It is a form of energy perception which is experienced as a tactile, physical sensation, or an emotional feeling. To my knowledge and experience, clairsentience is the foundation for all other psychic sensitivities and often the first psychic ability to emerge in children. Typically, it is also the first psychic sense to be experienced by adults who develop their extra-sensory abilities later in life. In fact, I have never heard of a psychic or a medium who does not have some form of clairsentient ability, or who does not somehow use clairsentience in their work.
Clairsentience typically manifests in four major ways that are all somehow related, but the phenomenon differs from person to person:
Extra-sensory presentiment, also known as gut feelings, hunches, inklings, 'sneaking suspicions', premonition and foreboding, It's 'that feeling in one's bones' or 'funny feeling''. You can read more about my views on this particular subject in another blog post titled Intuition - The Unconscious Language of the Soul.
Clairempathy (clear emotional feeling or sensing)
The extra-sensory perception of past, present and future emotional energy connected to people in this life, and also in the afterlife. Yes, the dearly departed may not be having those actual human feelings anymore, but they certainly make me feel them to get their message across during mediumship readings!
Clairsomatica (clear bodily feeling or sensing)
Extra-sensory perception of physical sensations and symptoms. The term 'somatic' comes from the Greek words soma meaning 'body' and somatikos meaning 'of the body' or 'physical'. Somatic energy perception is more often experienced by mediums and medical intuitives, and may include all manner of symptoms, such as pain, nausea, vertigo, fever, congestion, and pressure or impact to the chest, or as paranormal tickling, chills, goose bumps, or sensations of being touched, as well as temperature changes and hair standing on end.
Clairtangency (clear touching)
Also known as 'psychometry'. The extra-sensory ability to touch an object and read its energy imprints, which can be emotions of the person who owns the object, or past, present, future information associated with the object’s owner. The word "tangent" comes from the Latin tangere, which means 'to touch'.
When a psychic medium is performing 'psychometry' she is applying her ‘clairtangent ability’ or using clairtangency, often combined with intuition, clairsomatica and clairempathy. For example, energy healers and medical intuitives may have the ability to scan a person’s body with their hands to read symptomatic energy. Psychometry is also used by psychic investigators in forensic work, such as murders and kidnappings, by reading crime scenes or objects belonging to victims and suspects.
Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Versus Empath
The final important distinction that must be made in this context is the difference between the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and the Empath, which is my main concern when it comes to the misuse of the term ‘empathy’.
A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has the innate trait known as ‘high psychological sensitivity’. According to experts the highly sensitive individual processes sensory data much more intensely and thoroughly, due to biological differences in their nervous system. The term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was coined by Dr. Elaine N. Aron in 1996, and it has been gaining popularity ever since, mainly because it presents the HSP in a much more positive light. Sadly, HSPs are now increasingly being made to believe that they are all psychics, which may be undoing some of the wonderful work people like Dr. Aron have been doing.
Being an HSP is often confused with shyness, introversion, social anxiety or fearfulness. HSPs are therefore often misunderstood by parents, teachers and the community, while this trait is actually quite normal. It is believed that one in every five people are highly sensitive, which means that it is not a disorder. The trait is actually found in many animals too and it is believed to be a survival strategy of being observant before acting. According to Dr. Aron, "the opposite of a highly sensitive person is a person who takes many risks”, in other words someone who “acts without reflecting very much”.
The brain of the HSP has been found to actually work slightly differently, making them more aware than others of subtleties in their environment, and noticing more things when they interact with other people. The HSP is also easily overwhelmed and over stimulated when situations become too intense or confusing. The HSP trait is not a new discovery, but it is still misunderstood. HSPs are often told that they must ‘man up’ or to ‘not be so sensitive’. Now do you see why I sometimes cry when I do psychic readings?
It is unfortunate that many HSPs are not aware of their true nature and are not gaining access to accurate self-help information and professional support, because they have been told by well-meaning, but misguided folk that they are ‘empaths’ or ‘sensitives’ or ‘intuitives’. Sure, some HSPs just so happen to also be psychic, but this is not as common as some would have us believe.
The popular myth about psychological sensitivity, and its uncritical association with psychic ability, is a tragic state of affairs, because many HSPs continue to misjudge their own personalities and sometimes they really struggle in life, because they do not have an accurate understanding of what makes them 'tick'. Instead of receiving the support, guidance and sense of belonging that will allow them to thrive as HSP, they are being misdirected and taken advantage of by people who sell psychic development books, courses and healing sessions; not to mention the trauma and confusion highly sensitive children experience due to the misinformation being fed to their parents. Imagine having an excited ‘psychic stage mom’ breathing down your neck, pressuring you to act more esoterically and other-worldly, because she read on some website that you are a highly gifted little empath in the making, when in reality you are just a shy, sensitive kid who does not like noisy people and chaotic environments, and you just like to check things out carefully, before you take any action.
Sensitive, Or Psychic?
Don’t just accept someone else’s misguided assumption that you are an empath, or that your sensitive nature is due to your innate psychic ability. It could save you a lot of frustration, confusion and disillusionment, and may prevent you from wasting precious time and resources looking for spiritual or paranormal answers to something that is a perfectly natural trait in about 15 to 20% of the general population. Yes, it is definitely true that many psychics, mediums and healers also happen to be highly sensitive. It obviously does tend to come with the territory, but one does not have to be highly sensitive to actually have a psychic ability or to be a powerful energy worker. Furthermore, not all people with strong intuition, or a highly sensitive nature is necessarily psychic.
Bottomline, if you are psychic you will know it! Not every emotionally intuitive or socially sensitive person is therefore required to report for 'psychic duty’. Don’t miss your true soul purpose and life calling because of the misconstrued ideas others have about extra-sensory perception and psychic ability. You may very well be highly sensitive because you have some other life mission of great importance. In my destiny coaching practice I have seen that HSPs are typically meant to do great things and they often touch many lives with their work. HSPs are here to help make the world a better place in many diverse ways, beyond the scope of psychic of mediumship work. If you suspect that you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you can start by taking Dr. Aron’s self-test on her website.
By the way, there may actually be some reason for alarm concerning the declining levels of empathy in our society. According to recent research at the University of Michigan the empathy levels of college students have dropped significantly since the 1980’s, with an especially dramatic decline over the past decade. To make matters worse, during this same period levels of narcissism among college students has reached new heights, according to research at San Diego State University. One possible reason for this decline may be our increased social isolation, and the growing dehumanization of people due to technology. You only have to read some of the really cruel and callous comments so many people post on social networking and video sharing sites these days, to find the necessary evidence. Maybe empathy will one day really become a rare gift in a merciless world devoid of any emotional concern for others?
© 2011 Anthon St Maarten